I Had A Dream Where Everything Was Normal Except My Cats Were Seventeen Feet Tall


What does all this mean? Have I been looking at too many stuffed-animal fetish videos? Has my guilt over calling one of my cats "Wussypants" finally caught up with me? Am I secretly searching for metaphysical truth? Did I just toot?

While these are all interesting questions, I think there's a much simpler explanation. My cats want to outgrow me so they can eat my liver while sucking my brain through my nose. I better keep a good eye on them from now on.

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