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Dinosaurs Are Not Killers, They're Job Creators

via goodloe byron

Yup, of course we've heard ya'll liberals bitching and moaning about the "dinosaur menace" and whatnot.  And on some level, I suppose we can sympathize.  Nobody likes to see people stomped to death, least of all the person being stomped on.  But, economically speaking, where would we be without pissed off brontosauruses?  We can't predict exactly what would happen if they stopped smooshing people, but we know that a lot of people would be out of a job.  And that's something we have to take very seriously in a recession.

Think of those poor souls who have to quickly shovel the victims' poopy and flattened corpses off a sidewalk.  They're doing the Lord's work, if you ask me.  Also, think of the weapons manufacturers.  Sales of rocket launchers and grenade-firing guns would tank if brontosauruses stopped stomping on people.  And who can forget the work of those brave clowns, who stand ready at a moment's notice to hurry to the scene of a dinosaur stomp to distract entertain the gathering crowd of onlookers with juggling, acrobatics, and animal balloons.

But, okay, yeah, I hear ya.  You're thinking, "But what about all the people being stomped to death?  Don't they effectively hurt the economy by being dead and, therefore, unable to work most jobs?"  Of course not!  The economy will be fine!  You know as well as I do that the only people stupid enough to pick a fight with a dinosaur are poor people and the homeless.  And they don't have jobs anyway.  Now that I think of it, a good dinosaur stomping every now and then is a great way to get some of these loafers off food stamps and welfare.  In a way you could say that dinosaur stompings not only create jobs, but also help cut down government spending.  Win-fucking-win if you ask us.


Jaria Dreems said…
indeed stomping around creates jobs, not only the dinosaurs, but i stomp around creating not only the will to work, but some sort of will to stare blindly at sunsets so i would concur that with the dinosaurs influence i have created some sort of way of romance it would seem. just a thought,

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