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Clown Gang Attacks Hippie Village, Survivors Offered Thirty Dollars and a Free Haircut

via goodloe byron

Damn it all.  Will the horror never cease?  It happened again.  Another goddamn clown attack.  Rampaging mad silliness, death and tickling.  That kind of thing.  Dig?

Students from the Baltimore clown college Circus Minimus sharpened their Silly Swords, picked up their Tulip Maces, and put on their Explody Shoes and drove to Stonedfuckedupville, the hippie village just outside the city.  And then...havoc.

The hippies didn't even see the clowns coming.  They were lounging peacefully outside their mud huts, smoking opium and talking to the clouds, hoping that Wookalia, god of the wookies would appear to them.  A hoard of about fifteen absolutely mad clown scholars bum rushed the place. Four hippies were killed before the clowns were driven off by the smell of vegan baking products and patchouli.

The Hippies announced that they will be suing the clown college for "at least a billiony, most trilliony smackaroonies."  The dean of Circus Minimus, Dorky Funnybottom, no doubt inspired by Costa Cruises, offered a quick apology and offered thirty dollars, a free haircut, and a red honking nose to the survivors.

There's been no word on whether the hippies will accept or decline this offer.  The spirit of Tongol Tuna appeared this morning and told them to tear down their mud huts and make their way to Arizona, where they shall sit in a circle and talk about wildlife and sandals for a month.

Further reports to come.  But first, a sandwich and a nap.

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