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Showing posts from October, 2011

But Why Can't Everything be Made of Legos?

A friend of mine's kid said this recently.  Cool.  I'm pretty okay with that question.  In fact, it was an excellent question.  I mean, kids grow out of this kind of world-reinventing fantasy soon enough anyway.  I've seen too many kids throw themselves full-bore into sports and suddenly, at age ten or eleven years old fantasy and imagination already stunted because even though parents and coaches tell the kid it's all for fun and it doesn't matter who wins or loses, the kid knows that somehow this is Serious Stuff.  Other kids, though, don't have to worry about cold reality for a while.  Hell, I had imaginary friends until I was fifteen.

Wait, no, that doesn't sound right.  Let me explain:

What I'm trying to say is that I turned the real world into something imaginary and populated it with people of my own choosing.  I mean, I wasn't delusional or anything.  I don't think.  But so what if I was?  I wasn't doing anything important at that p…

I'm so Excited to see The Rum Diary that I've attached Bells to my Testicles so that I Might chase my Cats around ThE ApaRtmeNT (Part 2)

OK.  Haven't seen The Rum Diary yet.  Work and bullshit like that.  A lukewarm review by the great Mad Hatter Media Critic Russell Davidson, of CC2K, gave it kind of a lukewarm review, but it still looks like it's worth seeing. Maybe Monday?  But does anything really happen on a Monday?

So, anyway, a few more words about the man under discussion.  Hunter S. Thompson is of interest to the Mugwump Corporation for several reasons.  For one, he was in touch with the Great Madness, or, the Holden Spirit.  Hunter S. Thompson believed that America in the 1970's was twisted and decadent and he became twisted and decadent himself.  So was he a hypocrite?  Of course, but only in the best way.  He loaded up on booze and drugs and hauled himself and his Samoan attorney into the belly of the beast.  He loved the decadence, made himself the subject of the decadence and found the heartbeat of the American dream.  Spoiler alert: the American Dream is greed.

Put it this way: Hunter S. Tho…

I'm so Excited to see The Rum Diary that I've attached Bells to my Testicles so that I Might chase my Cats around ThE ApaRtmeNT (Part 1)

Right.  So now that we've gotten that out of the way, I can tell you what is on a lot of folks' minds: there will be a great number of Irrationalized Mad Hatters who will dig the fuck out of this movie, whether it's any "good" or not.  I mean, it could be the shittiest movie of the year and we'd still love it.  First of all, even though I'm a married man, I don't think I'd get in any trouble if I somehow managed to have wild boar sex with Johnny Depp. The wife would give me a pass, after all.  Then she would sleep with him.  I love this man.  He does not age.  His is from the land of Orgasmaville.

Second, and far less important, there are Mugwump Corporation duties to consider.  The end goal, of course, being the total Irrationalization of the human race.  Johnny Depp is playing some cat named "Paul Kemp," right?  No worries, just a name, after all.  Undoubtedly he'll play it the same as when he was supposed to be a guy named "…

Earth Moving Closer to Irrationalization, Mugwump Corporation Amused

Should I watch Fast Five?  Should anyone?  Mugwump corporate policy is clear on this one.  Anything that might lead to the great Mass Irrationalization should be taken seriously.  But I've seen the first movie in this series, so have I essentially seen this sequel?  Maybe it'll be like when they made a sequel to Teen Wolf but it was actually a remake, replacing basketball with boxing.

Will this be much of the same?  Are we simply adding a Duane "Rock" Johnson and calling it a day?  Hmmm....I wouldn't know.  I can't remember a thing about the first movie.  Not plot detail one.  So to compare the two flicks I would have to watch the first one again and that might end up being too much Deep Strange even for me.
When I think of The Fast and the Furious, I mean, when I really close my eyes and think about it, I remember a blur of colors, headaches, muscles, explosions, a hot Latin chick, more stuff exploding.

I remember that I left the movie theater snarly and …

Welcome to OuR Corporate Policy

Welcome to Mugwump Corporation.  We seek total irrationalization of the human race.